


They're More Like Guidelines

by egberts



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Timers, Tags will be updated as needed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-01 09:07:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4013950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/egberts/pseuds/egberts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*narrator voice* IN A WORLD where a little black timer on the underside of your wrist counts down to the exact moment you meet your soulmate things can be pretty stressful. Especially when you're only 20 years old. Especially when you're already pretty sure you're in love with your long-time best friend. Especially when you have less than two weeks until it reaches zero.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sixteen Days

**Author's Note:**

> soulmate au?? anyone??  
> these are done all the time but i am a sucker for cheesy ass soulmate aus where one person swears it's bullshit and the universe is stupid.  
> psst! i proofread my own stuff, so if you find a mistake that i missed please let me know!  
> 

You’d never really thought about it before, falling in love. The society you grew up in put huge emphasis on love but it’s not something you thought about a lot. You didn’t actually think you’d ever fall in love, you’re too cool for that bullshit, but when you turned 18 the countdown on your wrist started ticking, just like everybody else's. Back then it said something like two and a half years and you didn't even think about it, but now?

Now it's weird. It's really fucking weird to _know_ that in exactly two weeks, one day, sixteen hours, and thirty-seven minutes you will meet your “soulmate”.

When you first got your countdown you didn’t care. You told yourself that the little black numbers that just so happened to show up on your skin didn’t actually mean anything and you were in control of your own life. You kept it covered with a two dollar wristband from the thrift store and never talked about it. It wasn’t commonplace to just announce your date, anyway; it was supposed to be a personal thing, so most people kept theirs covered as well.

You’d almost forgotten about it, just there on your wrist, counting down to a fateful, literally life-changing, encounter. Almost, as in, you now know you are exactly two weeks, one day, sixteen hours, and thirty-six minutes away from meeting your “soulmate”. The wristband snapped and you remembered the count down and now you cannot stop thinking about what’s actually going to happen in two weeks, one day, sixteen hours, and thirty-five minutes. Your brother catches on and pulls you out of your daydream-esque state.

“Yo, Dave.” He snaps a leather glove-clad finger in front of your face.

You blink yourself out of your daze and look up at him, the music of the video game pause menu in the background reminding you that _hey, you were doing something_. “Huh?”

“You good, dude? I’ve been watching you stare at the pause menu for a solid three minutes.” He raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah, no, sorry, I'm fine,” You nod and awkwardly brush a hand through your hair. “I’m good, just got distracted, sup?”

“You wanna go eat?”

“Sure, where?” You toss the controller to the side and stand up. “And will you be dressed like that?” You gesture to his choice of clothing. Ripped jeans and a white shirt covered in oil splotches. You don’t even want to think about the awful fingerless gloves and ridiculous anime shades he’s wearing.

That remark earns you a slap on the back of the head. “I was working, smartass.”

You rub the offended area and grin. “I know, I know, gay robots and everything.” Your brother shakes his head and groans before walking ahead of you out the door. You follow.

Dirk is your older brother by two years, he got his own apartment immediately after high school and you moved in with him as soon as you got out of high school, too. He was happy to have you. (You think he was kind of lonely, to be honest.) He makes a good amount of money building and selling custom robots to people all over the world, and he insists you don’t need to work if you don’t want to, he can cover you. You have a part time job anyway.

As the two of you are getting in the car he makes an idle comment about how you were so zoned out. You shrug in response but it isn’t good enough. “Come on, Dave, you only get like that when you’ve got some serious shit cookin’ up in that head of yours.”

You exhale and rub a hand over your face in frustration; he isn’t going to let it go. “My countdown.”

“What about it?” He starts the car and you click your seatbelt.

“I broke my bracelet and saw it.” You scratch your wrist absentmindedly where the offending text sits.

“I thought you didn’t believe in that shit?” He glances at you (past you, to see the on-coming traffic probably).

“I don’t but… ugh.” You make several vague hand gestures and then “ugh” again.

“Insightful.” He pulls out onto the main road. “What’s it say?”

You look down at your wrist and frown. “Two weeks, one day, sixteen hours, and twenty-two minutes.” He looks your way again, and this time you’re sure it’s _at you,_ with his mouth agape. You bite the inside of your cheek and nod. “Yeah.”

“Jeez, dude.” He returns his focus back to driving and shakes his head slightly. He's at a loss for words, you can tell. “Wow.”

“Yeah.” You repeat. “I don’t care but _fuck_ , dude, I’m going to meet my soulmate? In two weeks?”

Dirk taps the wheel with his thumb and thinks for a minute before replying. “Don’t get too worked up, bro, you’re young and chances are so is the other person, it might be awhile before you even realize they’re the one for you. I mean, you may never even realize, right? Apparently people don't even realize they're falling in love until they're already off the deep end. Aren’t you always going on about how you’re not going to let fate choose for you, anyway?”

You sigh and slump down in your seat, eyes fixated on your wrist. “Yeah, yeah. I know. I’m sure if I don’t like them I’ll know but… what if I can’t help it?”

“Don’t stress yourself out, Dave.” Dirk assures. “Whatever happens happens, and besides, aren’t you like head over heels for that kid from Washington?”

You slump further and groan again. “I don’t even want to think about that right now. I’m just glad my gay ass feelings for John are unrequited or this would be _hell_ to explain.”

Dirk laughs and changes the subject, “So where do you want to eat?”

“Anywhere, dude, I’m just hungry and ready to eat my feelings.” You whip out your phone, your previous statement about not wanting to think about John is immediately retracted when you see a fresh new string of texts from the one and only Egbert.

You will not deny that you have a massive crush on your best bro, you've only ever seen selfies of him, but from what you can tell he's cute as hell. He's got blue eyes and light brown skin and dark brown hair and big teeth and a little nose and he speaks Spanish and you are _so in love with him_. Looks aside though, he's also super sweet, and a huge dork, and basically you've been in love with him since you were like fifteen, but you've never told him. Once he talked about dating a girl in eighth grade so you've just kind of assumed he's riding the no-homo train.

Texting John holds your attention for the rest of the ride.

[ectoBiologist began pestering turntechGodhead at 9:42 PM]  
EB: hey dave!  
EB: what's up?  
EB: is that too formal?  
EB: we've been internet friends for eight years but i still don't know how to start a conversation with you.  
EB: whenever i do you just make fun of me, like an asshole.  
EB: but when you do it, it's just like "woah, hey, okay there's dave."  
EB: and you're all like "guess who's dave! i am! wanna learn more?"  
EB: then i would say "no, dave, i don't."  
EB: and you would start talking anyway.  
TG: jesus egbert it looks like you dont even need me anymore  
TG: youve got our conversation already planned out and everything  
EB: there you are!  
TG: hey there  
TG: guess whos dave  
TG: i am  
TG: wanna learn more?  
EB: no, shut up! guess what!  
TG: im sorry john i cant shut up  
TG: according to your plan this is where i start talking anyway  
TG: you never specified when im supposed to stop  
TG: so i have to keep going  
TG: and going  
TG: and going  
TG: and going  
TG: and going  
EB: enough, energizer bunny!  
TG: alright lol whats up  
EB: i'm going to be in texas!!  
TG: what where when  
EB: i don't know yet! my cousin jade just moved there for college and i'm gonna visit her!  
EB: we talked about it a little but she had to go, so i'll find out later.  
TG: jade?  
TG: sounds familiar  
TG: is she the one who i met in that one chatroom a couple years ago?  
TG: gardengnostic?  
EB: yeah! that's her.  
TG: oh thats cool she seems nice  
TG: we dont talk much be she says hey every once in awhile  
TG: wheres she going to college  
EB: i dont remember, hopefully not too far from where you live. it'd be cool to meet you!  
TG: hell yeah it would  
TG: when does she start school its like july  
EB: idk dude! she got an apartment. my grandpa is like loaded, so he's paying for it.  
TG: shit bro lemme get your grandpas digits  
EB: uh, pretty sure my grandpa needs all his fingers dude!!  
TG: ha ha very funny  
EB: hehe.

“We’re here dude, pull your nose out of your phone and come on.” Dirk nudges your shoulder. You put up a finger to signal you’ll be done in a minute.

TG: but hey dude i gotta go  
TG: text me later or tomorrow or something  
EB: wow okay, fine, bye dave. (hehe.)  
TG: later  
[turntechGodhead ceased pestering ectoBiologist at 9:59 PM]

“Romantic pesterlog with your boyfriend?” Dirk jokes as you undo your seatbelt.

“Oh, shut up, he isn’t my boyfriend.” You roll your eyes.

“I’m just joking, don’t get defensive, dude.” He raises his hands innocently. “Now come on before my stomach eats itself.”

The two of you enter the very appropriately chosen for spontaneous dinner outings at 10 PM restaurant and have a seat at the counter. _Waffle House_. It’s like _Denny’s_ , but greasier. You scan your menus even though you’ll both probably order your usual meal. You do. Dirk gets a sweet tea, as _Waffle House_ has a distinct lack of orange colored sodas, and you get a Coke.

While you’re waiting for your food one of the waitresses strikes up a conversation with you, leaning on the counter. “Two weeks, huh?”

You shake your head slightly and raise an eyebrow, “Excuse me?”

She laughs a little, “Sorry, I mean your countdown.” She nods towards it and her ponytail bounces. “I couldn’t help but notice, I’m a sucker for romance stories.” She has a very heavy Southern accent, definitely not from Texas. You think maybe Mississippi or Arkansas instead.

“Oh,” You glance down at your own wrist and awkwardly smile. “It’s fine, uh, yeah. Two weeks.”

“Are you nervous?”

You think for a moment and decide it’s fine if you tell her, she’s just curious, what's it going to hurt to engage in some polite conversation? “A little, I guess.” You shrug. “I don’t really believe in it.”

“Oh honey, that’s just ‘cause you’re young. I was the same way before I met my husband. I swore up and down I hated him to hell and back, but damn if he wasn’t endearing. That’s all it takes, that one little moment of doubt, the little invasive thought about how _maybe, just maybe,_ they could be the one. I was head over heels before I knew what hit me. We’ve been married twenty-two years now, got a couple of kids probably about your age actually. How old are you, hon?”

As awkward as her lecture about love made you feel, you kept humoring her. “I’ll be 21 in December.” You glance at Dirk who is pretending to reread his menu with a very amused smirk on his face.

The waitress nods, “Yep, I guessed so. My oldest is nineteen.” She says and then pushes herself up. “And my shift is over,” She takes off her apron and puts it under the counter, gives you a wave and says, “enjoy your pancakes, and good luck with your soulmate!”

You wave awkwardly in reply and thank the heavens that that conversation is over. As soon as she’s gone Dirk is on your case. “Well she was polite.” He says, trying his best not to laugh, it wasn’t working. Dick.

“Shut up.” You can literally feel your cheeks turning red from embarrassment, and that is something that doesn’t happen all too often.

Dirk can tell you’re embarrassed and like the true Strider gentleman he is, he drops it. You both receive your food and eat in relative silence, aside from the music chosen by one of the staff members playing on the juke box. The waitress’s words rattle around in your brain and nearly drive you mad.

_“That’s all it takes.”_

_“That one little moment of doubt.”_

_“The little invasive thought about how maybe…”_

_“Just maybe…”_

_“They could be the one.”_

They’re stuck on repeat like a broken record, causing you to again absentmindedly fidget with your wrist and wonder who it could be. What they could be like. Why you would love them? What do you even love about anybody? _What could they love about you?_

You finish your food and your coke and stand up, Dirk isn’t finished yet but you need fresh air – well as fresh as you can get in Dallas. “I’ll be outside.” You say gesturing over your shoulder towards the door. His mouth is full so he just gives you a thumbs up to acknowledge that he heard you.

The scenery outside _Waffle House_ isn’t the exactly prettiest, and it’s eleven at night so everything is dim, but it’s enough to clear your mind of the ever invasive thoughts of love and soulmates. After a few minutes of fresh air you get into the car to wait for Dirk. You start pestering your cousin for advice in the meantime.

[turntechGodhead began pestering tentacleTherapist at 11:03 PM]  
TG: yo you awake  
TT: Fortunately so, what's up?  
TG: why do you just assume something is up  
TG: cant a guy say hey to his most favorite cousin without coming under fire  
TT: Fine, I suppose if nothing is wrong, I'll be going to bed.  
TG: no!  
TG: shit wait  
TT: Hm?  
TG: something dumb happened today  
TT: Elaborate.  
TG: its really stupid and im sure im overreacting  
TT: Dave, out with it.  
TG: i saw my stupid countdown  
TT: Oh? How is that dumb?  
TG: well you know im not about that shit  
TT: Yes, I recall. I thought you kept it covered with the wrist band from the thrift store by our old high school?  
TG: i did but it busted  
TT: Did it now?  
TG: oh shut up i dont need to be lectured about how you told me so  
TT: Well, I did.  
TG: anyway the lady at waffle house saw it too  
TT: The wristband or your countdown?  
TG: my countdown rose keep up here  
TG: so she saw it and she started saying all this shit about how  
TG: i might be apprehensive about it right now but thats just because im young and ill learn to love whoever i just so happen to match up with  
TG: she said shes been married for 22 years and has kids  
TG: rose i dont want to be married for 22 years and have kids with somebody who i only married because our fucking haunted ass wrist tattoos told us that we were meant to be together  
TT: Sounds to me like you're nervous.  
TT: Just do what I do, Dave.  
TG: and what would that be?  
TT: I don't look at them as rules. They're more like guidelines.  
TT: As if to say "Hey, you're going to meet this really nice person that you click with in so many years, they're going to be perfect for you, but it's still your choice." Rather than "Hey, you're going to meet the person you are going to have to marry in so many years, no exceptions."  
TG: thats the thing tho rose  
TG: mine isnt years  
TG: its weeks  
TG: and also ive literally never met anyone who didnt end up with the person they met on zero  
TG: im screwed  
TT: Guidlines, Dave.  
TG: im young i dont want to be tied down  
TT: Then don't let yourself be.  
TG: but what if i cant help it  
TG: what if i end up stuck in a plot of a bad romcom  
TG: you know the ones where the person thinks their countdown is bullshit (me) but then they meet the person on zero and even though they try so desperately to cling to the idea of freedom they cant help falling in love because apparent-fucking-ly the person is oh-so perfect all the time no matter what  
TT: You're afraid to fall in love?  
TG: yes  
TT: I don't know how to help you here.  
TG: its fine ill just ignore my feelings until theyre impossible to not deal with  
TG: thanks rose  
TT: Um, you're welcome, I guess.  
[turntechGodhead ceased pestering tentacleTherapist at 11:11 PM]

You surf the web for another few minutes, Googling things about how to stop your countdown with little success. Dirk taps on the window and you unlock the door for him. He doesn’t say anything when he gets in the car and the two of you drive home in silence (save for the radio, which admittedly fills the silence).

Dirk immediately goes to his room to finish his project when you get back to the apartment, you check the time and decide that 11:30 is a good a time as any to hit the hay, but you don’t actually fall asleep until almost one in the morning because you can’t stop thinking about what the stupid waitress with the stupid bouncy ponytail said.


	2. Fourteen Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> otherwise known as the chapter where john does a lot of borning things

Your leg bounces anxiously as you sit in the waiting room of your orthodontist. You’re excited. Today you’re getting your braces removed, and the timing is honestly perfect. Why is the timing perfect? There are a few good reasons.

Reason number one: You’re nineteen years old and you’ve had braces for the last four years. It is time for them to be gone, and you are _so ready_.

Reason number two: You have a job interview on Monday and you’ll look way more professional without them, you think.

Reason number three: You’re hopefully going to be meeting your best internet friend in person at some point in the near future, and you will look way cooler without the braces. First impressions are everything. Plus, Dave already thinks you’re a huge dork, so you don’t want to give him a reason to think that _more_.

Reason number four: Your countdown is going to reach zero in the next few weeks and you want to look good for whoever is supposed to be your soulmate. You don’t really know if you actually believe in that stuff, but from most firsthand accounts and stories, it’s legit. Even your own parents met on zero.

The door to the waiting room opens and the nurse calls your name. “John?” You practically fly out of your seat and follow her to the back. “Excited?” She laughs. It’s pretty obvious. You’re stoked.

“I’ve had these stupid things since I was fifteen, I am so excited.”

She grins at you over her shoulder, “I’m afraid the suffering is far from over, John.” You cringe a little because you were perfectly content in pretending you wouldn’t have to wear a retainer.

Your friend (acquaintance, rather) Sollux had his braces removed in high school and after he got his retainer he always spoke with a lisp. You weren’t looking forward to that. Most websites said the lisping thing would only last for a few days but you weren’t convinced.

She leads you to an available dental chair, tells you to sit, and says the doctor will be with you shortly. There are some major butterflies in your stomach but you suppress them and wait, very eagerly. Your leg inevitably starts bouncing again so you text Dave to take your mind off it while waiting.

[ectoBiologist began pestering turntechGodhead at 1:14 PM]  
EB: guess who's getting their braces off today!!  
EB: hint: it's me!  
TG: no way dude congrats  
EB: yep! i'm sitting in the dentist chair right now.  
TG: does he have his hand in you  
EB: what?  
TG: the denist  
TG: does the dentist have his hand in your mouth  
EB: oh, no he's not here yet. why?  
TG: idk just wonderin  
TG: it must be hella terrifying to be a dentist  
EB: actually it's an orthdontist.  
TG: same difference  
TG: could you imagine?  
TG: having your hands in peoples mouths day in and day out  
TG: gross  
EB: they get paid a lot to do it! somebody has to!  
TG: i guess man  
TG: we cant all be living like were in the 1800s  
TG: scurvy up in this bitch  
EB: gotta go! the dentist is here.  
[ectoBiologist ceased pestering turntechGodhead at 1:20 PM]  
[turntechGodhead began pestering ectoBiologist at 1:20 PM]  
TG: oh okay dude  
TG: later  
TG: oh fuck oops  
TG: i accidentally started a new pesterlog  
TG: sorry  
TG: good luck with the braces removal i guess  
TG: peace  
[turntechGodhead ceased pestering ectoBiologist at 1:21 PM]

You feel your phone vibrate several times after you pocket it but you can’t check it because your orthodontist already has you laid back in the chair prepping you for removal. The butterflies were back with vengeance.

Your orthodontist explains what he’s going to do and then… well he does it. He basically peels off your braces with a special pair of pliers then rubs off the leftover adhesive with a really fast spinning thing; you don’t know what it’s called. When he’s done your mouth feels... really slimy…. And very empty. You run your tongue across your teeth multiple times until he hands you a mirror.

You smile.

You _cannot believe_ that that is your smile. It looks so different without the little blue bits of metal everywhere. You turn your head to see it from all angles and you are honestly amazed. You open your mouth wide and then close it again.

“Looks good?” The doctor asks. You nod enthusiastically. “Good, now we need to get another x-ray and bite impression so we can get you a custom retainer.” You mentally groan at the thought but it’s a necessary evil. There is no way in hell you wore those stupid braces for four years just for your teeth to go back where they were.

You’ve been through the x-ray and bite impression process enough times that it goes fairly quickly. When it’s over you snag one of the sugar free lollipops by the exit and go to reception to set up a retainer pick-up/check-up appointment. It’s going to take about a week for your retainer to be made and shipped, so now you have to play _another_ waiting game.

Speaking of waiting games, as you’re leaving the office you glance down at your wrist, which is uncovered. You’ve been meaning to buy a new watch since your old one stopped working a couple weeks ago. You should probably do that while you’re out.

When you get to your car you spend more time than you’re willing to admit admiring your teeth in the rearview mirror. Your mouth feels weird but it’s well worth it. When you finally finish staring at your teeth you sit back in your seat and grin to yourself for several seconds before ultimately deciding you have to tell Jade about them.

[ectoBiologist began pestering gardenGnostic at 3:00 PM]  
EB: guess who is braces free!  
GG: you?? :o  
EB: yes!  
GG: omg!! congrats john im so happy for you  
GG: how does it feel?  
EB: weird, but good weird.  
GG: good weird is good  
GG: does this mean youll be able to visit now??  
EB: well i mean, i could visit whenever, but actually no i can’t visit yet.  
GG: aw why  
EB: i have another appointment next week for my retainer, but after that, hell yes!  
GG: awesome!! whens your appointment?  
EB: tuesday, so i guess any time after that is fine.  
EB: unless i get a call back for my job interview this monday, then that's subject to change and i might have to raincheck you.  
GG: aw man dont rain check me >:p  
EB: i'll try not to! but you know how it is, us young adults trying to survive alone.  
GG: john you live with your dad  
EB: so!! i'd like to have a disposable income, and also be able to pay for my own plane tickets!  
GG: nonsense! ive got it covered  
EB: jaaaaaaaaade.  
GG: dont wanna hear it john im buying the ticket as we speak  
EB: what? no! my interview!  
GG: just be like "if hired i cant start until after blah blah" itll be fine  
EB: ugh, okay fine, you win. i'll come.  
GG: yay!  
GG: i got you a flight for wednesday morning  
GG: ill send you an email with the details!  
EB: that’s kinda soon but alright, i guess.  
EB: i gotta go though, i've been sitting in this parking lot for too long, my car is turning into a sauna.  
GG: alright, bye john!! love you!! :*  
EB: bye!  
[ectoBiologist ceased pestering gardenGnostic at 3:11 PM]

You toss your phone into the passenger seat and finally buckle your seatbelt. Before you start driving you take another quick look in the rearview and you are not disappointed. When the radio starts it’s entirely too loud and you nearly jump out of your seat, hand racing to turn it down. God, you always do that.

What were you going to do next? Oh yeah, the store. You need a new wristwatch. And while you’re there you should get a couple snacks. No hate towards your dad but he never keeps any good snacks around, mostly just cake. So much cake.

The drive to the store is short, less than four blocks from the orthodontist. You park near the entrance, look in the mirror _again_ , smile at yourself, and get out of the car. You almost forget your phone in the passenger seat but remember it at the last second and awkwardly stretch yourself across the middle console of the car to get it. You shut the car door and press the horn-lock button on the keychain remote. The headlights blink and the car is secure. You nod to yourself because you always forget to lock the car and a couple months ago that proved disastrous. You don’t want to think about it.

You enter the store and immediately the air conditioning kicks in, sweet sweet relief. You grab a handheld basket and make your rounds, a cheap plastic digital watch being the first thing you get. After that you just impulse buy a bunch of junk food (peanut-allergy safe, of course). And while you’re there you grab a few things you might need for your upcoming trip.

After you’re done shopping you stop by a fast-food restaurant and have a burger, your dad would be ashamed but what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Speaking of your dad, when you’re done eating you give him a quick call. You lean against the outside of your car in the McDonald's parking lot and wait for him to answer.

After several rings he finally does, “Hello?”

“Hey dad," You begin, "Hear anything different!?” (Stupid question.)

“Um… no?” He sounds confused.

“Oh.” You're slightly dejected, but you understand that he probably actually can't hear a difference because you're basically talking exactly the same.

After a few seconds of awkward silence he asks, “What’s different?”

“I got my braces off today!” You say a little bit too loudly. “I mean, stupid on my part for thinking you could hear a difference, but yeah! They’re goooone.”

“Oh, that’s great, son!” Your dad assures. “I’m so proud of you!”

“Thank you, thank you.” You mentally take a bow. (Almost physically , but you are in public and your dad can’t even see you.)

“How does it feel?” He asks.

“Super weird right now, but I’ll get used to it.” You pause and then add, “By the way do you need anything while I’m out? I already went to the store but if you need me to pick something up I can go back.”

“Hmmm,” He thinks for a moment. “Yes, actually, do you want to pick up some coffee? I’ll pay you back when you get home.”

“It’s cool, dad, I got you covered.”

“Aren’t you the world’s sweetest son.” He jokes.

“I am!”

“Alright, I’ll see you later then, don’t stay out too late if you can help it. I know you’re an adult but you’re still my son and I’d like to see you home safe.”

“I know, I know. I’ll be home in a few hours. See you!”

“Goodbye, John.” He hangs up and you check for any new texts before getting in your car.

You run to the store one more time for your dad and then head home after. You stash your snacks in your room, which should probably cleaned up at some point, and you give your dad his coffee. He comments on your new watch and your teeth. You thank him for the compliments and then settle yourself into the couch to watch television, there is absolutely nothing on. You toss the remote onto the cushion beside you and pull out your phone, and oh wow oops, you missed some texts from Dave.

[turntechGodhead began pestering ectoBiologist at 4:01 PM]  
TG: hey bro  
TG: how are the teeth  
TG: idk if youre still at the dentist  
TG: how long does that shit take  
TG: is it like full blown surgery or just like  
TG: bam  
TG: braces are gone now  
TG: ill google it  
TG: im back  
TG: i watched like four videos about braces removal  
TG: im basically an expert now  
TG: according to my expert knowledge you should be done now  
TG: are you?

You skim his messages and inwardly roll your eyes, he talks so much.

EB: sorry! i didn't know you were messaging me.  
EB: they're off!  
EB: i'm home now.  
TG: can i see?  
EB: hmmm...... nope!  
TG: what why  
TG: all you gotta do is snap a quick selfie  
TG: ill add it to my collection  
EB: firstly, that's creepy.  
EB: and secondly, because that'll ruin the surprise!  
TG: surprise?  
EB: yeah! i know when i'm going to be in texas, so you get to see then!  
TG: but john  
EB: no buts, dave.  
TG: i wanna see  
EB: too bad!!!  
TG: youre a dick  
TG: you know that right  
EB: oh shut up, you can wait.  
TG: but why wait when you could literally send me a picture right now  
EB: waiting is more fun!  
TG: um no it isnt but okay   
EB: just take my word for it when i say my teeth look incredibly awesome.  
TG: i believe you  
TG: I GUESS  
EB: enooough, dave.  
EB: what's up?  
TG: oh you know the usual  
TG: i got home from work a little bit ago and ive been wallowing in self pity ever since  
EB: why?  
TG: why not  
EB: seriously, dude! what's wrong?  
TG: okay so you the know countdown bullshit?  
EB: yeah?  
TG: okay buckle up this is stupid  
TG: the other day i was getting some hardcore gaming done and the bracelet i had over my countdown snapped  
TG: so i was like aw man fuck  
TG: and i dont believe in it really but  
TG: i saw mine and it was a lot shorter than i thought itd be  
TG: and now knowing im literally driving myself crazy thinking about it  
TG: i covered it again but i keep wanting to peek  
TG: and its fucking with me  
TG: because i swear i dont believe  
TG: its like total horseshit right  
TG: but like  
TG: what if i do  
EB: do what?  
TG: believe john  
TG: what if i believe the horseshit  
EB: so what dude!  
EB: i kinda believe it.  
EB: and there are soooo many stories to back it up.  
TG: dont say that  
TG: i dont want to even think about how fucking legit it seems  
TG: ive spent the last two days googling it and watching shitty documentaries about people who were just like me until they hit zero  
EB: dude!! i think you're stressing yourself out over nothing.  
EB: if you're SO WORRIED about it, just... don't peek?  
EB: if you don't know the exact time then you'll never know if it's true.  
TG: but what if it doesnt work like that  
TG: what if you know even if you dont know  
EB: what?  
TG: what if you like feel it even without knowing  
EB: isn't that basically just... love?  
TG: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh  
TG: im afraid to fall in love with somebody  
EB: why?  
TG: because dude  
TG: im already in love with somebody else  
TG: and i dont want to stop  
EB: you are so confusing, dave.  
EB: you're afraid to fall in love with somebody because... you're already in love?  
TG: yes  
EB: is somebody in love with you?  
TG: no  
TG: well idk ive never told them  
EB: so, to get this straight, you have a crush on somebody and you don't want to fall in love with anyone else because you don't want to stop having a crush on somebody?  
TG: exactly  
EB: dave that is so stupid!!  
TG: thanks dude  
EB: why would you want to keep liking somebody who doesn't like you back when you're guaranteed to find somebody who will?  
TG: because i hate myself  
EB: well stop it!

“John, dinner.” Your dad pokes his head into the living room. You look up at him and smile to acknowledge that you’ll be in there in a second. He nods in return and returns to the kitchen.

TG: you make it sound so easy  
TG: i dont know why i didnt consider these things  
TG: im obviously freaking out for no reason  
TG: you have truly opened my eyes egbert  
EB: okay, dave, i get it.  
EB: if you want to keep being stubborn, that's on you.  
EB: i'm gonna go eat dinner, i'll text you later!  
TG: bye  
[ectoBiologist ceased pestering turntechGodhead at 4:53 PM]

You set your phone on the coffee table in front of the couch and get up to eat dinner. Without really meaning to your mind settles on Dave while you’re eating, nothing in particular about him, just him in general, you guess.

“John?” Your dad gently nudges your shoulder.

“Hm?”

“You’ve barely touched your noodles, kid, what’s going on?” He says, concerned.

“Oh, no, nothing.” You shake your head and poke at your food. “Just thinking about Dave.”

“Oh?” He urges.

“It’s nothing dad, he’s just on edge right now. He’s freaking out about his countdown.” You shrug. “I think he’s being overdramatic.”

“Most people are, the closer it gets. I’m surprised you’re handling yours so well.” He points at you with his fork.

You shrug again and take a bite. “It doesn’t really bug me, I guess. It’s going to happen no matter what, and when it happens I don’t want to be all frazzled about it.”

“Good logic, John.” Your dad agrees. “I wish I would’ve had that mindset before I met your mom, things would’ve been less confusing.”

“But it worked out in the end,” You add.

“If you’re proof of anything.” He nods.

You smile in reply and get to work eating your food, the rest of dinner is pretty quiet and you dad heads to his study immediately after, asking you to clean up the dishes as he leaves. You do as you were asked and then go back to the living room in hopes of catching something good on television. Lucky for you there was a Jurassic Park marathon starting on AMC, you're a sucker for a good Jeff Goldblum movie so you settle down and watch, getting popcorn halfway through. You fall asleep on the couch sometime during the third movie.


	3. Seven Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 8)

You haven’t peeked in a week. You want to. The urge to peel up the tape your wrapped around your wrist is massive, but you resist. You know you have roughly a week left, you can’t remember the exact number, but you know some time next weekend you’re supposed to meet _the one_. You’ve devised a plan to avoid it at all costs, and it’s a pretty fool proof plan, if you do say so yourself. It’s also incredibly simple. You’re just not going to leave the house, starting Saturday. You figure if you go through Tuesday without leaving you’ll be fine. You can’t even answer the door or look out the window. Nothing. You will take no chances. Until then though, you’re in the clear.

Now isn’t the time to be thinking about your potential soulmate, though, you’re working. Well, you’re slacking off working. You hate your job. You only got a job so that Dirk wasn’t paying for literally everything. You felt bad mooching off of him, even though he said it was fine. You’re a part time clerk at _Walgreens._

You’re in the toy aisle right now, rearranging the $1 section. Over and over. You figure by doing this you’re getting out of real work and still getting paid. You feel your artistic vision is exactly what this one particular section of the store needs. Should the Silly String be on the second shelf? Or of the first? Should the plastic dinosaurs be next to the toy cars or the miniature pool tables? These are serious questions that you’re doing your best to answer.

You’re halfway through your fourth rearranging when a customer rounds the corner and spots you. He’s _huge_. At least six foot two, long black hair pulled into a ponytail, huge biceps and thighs, a tight fitting wife-beater and jeans with holes in the knees. He’s got a bow and arrow tattoo on his left arm and a picture of a cat riding a horse on his right. He’s honestly the most terrifying human being you’ve ever see. He’s also really sweaty. He’s coming right towards you.  

“Excuse me.” He says. (He enunciates the _ex_ sound.)

“Sup?” You set down the box of bouncy-balls you were holding and face him head on.

“Do you carry lube?”  He draws out the _u_ in lube and it weirds you out.

You slowly shake your head and stare at him. “Uh, no, sir, we don’t keep automotive stuff, this is a drug store.”

He clears his throat and shakes his head. “That’s not what I…”

“Ohhhhh.” Oh God. You understand. Without thinking you make a jacking off motion with your hand and raise an eyebrow. This guy looks about ready to die but nods his head anyway. “This way.” He follows you to the aisle and thanks you awkwardly before picking what he needs and getting the hell out of Dodge.

You return to the toy aisle, mentally laughing at how awkward that guy was. He was huge and intimidating but weird as hell, you love it. If you had an aesthetic it would be him. You grab the box of bouncy balls again and resume your important work. Unfortunately though, it’s not long before you’re interrupted again, by your coworker going on break.

“Hey Dave, handle the register, will you?” She asks from the end of the aisle. She knows what you’re doing back here and as long as the store isn’t busy she doesn’t really care.

“Sure, TZ, see you.” You wave. She waves back and goes to take her break. She nearly knocks everything off the endcap of the toy aisle when she turns around, though. Terezi is damn near blind without her glasses and slightly less damn near blind with them.

You take over register duty and it’s pretty slow going, thank God. It’s not late enough yet to get too busy. Your shift ends before five. You hate working the evening hours and avoid it whenever possible because there is nothing worse than an asshole customer “just picking something up” on their way home from work.

A few customers come through the check-out line, a few more come into the store, nothing you can’t handle. You’re idly rolling a pen up and down the counter when somebody walks up.

“Bored?” He asks.

You look up and shrug. “It’s a slow day, are you ready to check out?”

He nods and sets his basket down on the counter. “Nice bracelet.” He chuckles.

You start taking things out of the basket, scanning them, and bagging them. “Huh?”

He pulls out his credit card and waits for you to finish. “The tape?”

“Oh, yeah, haha.” You shrug and hope he doesn't say anything else about it.

“Covering your countdown?” He inquires. (Dammit.)

You inwardly cringe, why do so many people keep asking about that? Despite inner you telling this guy to go fuck off, outer you nods. “Yeah.”

“I get that.” He nods understandingly. “Mine is about to hit zero and it’s got my nerves all over the place.”

“That sucks.” You comment idly while finishing up bagging.

“Yeah, it’s awful, but at the same time I’m excited, you know?”

“I know, dude, trust me.” You turn your attention to the computer screen. “$15.68.”

“Judging by the amount of tape you’re wearing, I’m going to guess yours is about to go off, too? How long you got?” He scans his card.

You pinch the bridge of your nose a little in frustration but answer anyway, hopefully he didn’t notice. You don’t want to get fired for being impolite to a nosey customer, that would suck ass. “About a week, I think.”

“Oh, dang, man. Good luck with that.” He starts taking his bags.

“Thanks.” You wave him off as he walks away with a bag in each hand. “Come again.”

Thank God that’s over. Honestly, why do people try to be so social? Why can’t they just buy their shit and get out. You are in the wrong line of work, buddy. Although, you guess a friendly conversation is better than a soccer mom with two screaming brats and an ugly haircut yelling at you about something out of your control.

Terezi returns not long after friendly guy leaves and you’re all kinds of ready to go back to dicking around in the toy aisle but she stops you. “Not so fast, Strider.”

You stop mid-step, groan, and spin around. “Yeah?”

“Before your shift ends why don’t you go wrangle all the loose shopping carts in the parking lot?” She suggests. You don’t want to, but she is an assistant manager so you basically have to listen to her.

“Yeah, okay.” You nod and shove your hands in your pockets before heading out the door. Lucky for you there aren’t too many stray carts right now; that’s probably why she wants you to take care of them, so they’re out of the way before the after-five rush. You make your rounds and collect all the carts and return them to the storefront, by the time you’re done it’s almost time for you to clock out. Finally.

You reenter the store and drum on the counter in front of Terezi. “I’m gonna go ahead and go?”

She nods. “Sure, see you Monday.”

You give her a thumbs-up and ditch your apron in the employee break-room. You get your shades from your locker and head out. Despite putting a reflector in the windshield, your car is so hot it's basically on fire. The seats are pleather so you can’t even sit down yet because they’re too hot, God damn this Texas heat. You open the doors and let a breeze run through for a while. You pull out your phone to check your messages while you wait.

[tentacleTherapist began pestering turntechGodhead at 1:22 PM]  
TT: Do you have plans tonight?  
TT: I'm in town.  
TT: Text me.  
[tentacleTherapist ceased pestering turntechGodhead at 1:24 PM]  
[ectoBiologist began pestering turntechGodhead at 2:00 PM]  
EB: are you at work?  
EB: damn it, i had exciting news!  
EB: two things:  
EB: i got a call back from my job interview monday!  
EB: not hired yet, though, but fingers crossed.  
EB: annnnnd, i'm going to be in texas NEXT WEEK!  
EB: text me ASAP!!  
[ectoBiologist ceased pestering turntechGodhead at 2:15 PM]  
[carcinoGenesist began pestering turntechGodhead at 3:33 PM]  
CG: DAVE, I'M AT YOUR APARTMENT.  
CG: NOBODY IS HOME.  
CG: FUCK.  
[carcinoGenesist ceased pestering turntechGodhead at 3:37 PM]

They all know you work from eleven to four on Fridays, but they blow you up nonetheless. Better get to work on those replies.

[turntechGodhead began pestering tentacleTherapist at 4:04 PM]  
TG: oh shit cuz  
TG: i didnt know youd be in town  
TT: Neither did I.  
TT: Are you busy tonight?  
TG: idk karkat was at my place earlier so ill have to see what he wanted before i can give you an answer  
TT: Alright, I can wait.

You switch conversation tabs.

[turntechGodhead began pestering carcinoGenesist at 4:08 PM]  
TG: yo  
TG: why were you at my apartment??  
CG: I WANTED TO HANG OUT.  
CG: THAT'S WHAT BROS DO.  
TG: aw man i was at work  
CG: I FIGURED.  
TG: you dont still wanna kick it do you  
TG: cause my cousin is in town and she wants to do stuff  
CG: THATS FINE, I GUESS.  
CG: WE CAN HANG OUT SOME OTHER TIME.  
CG: MAYBE WITH EGBERT AND JADE.  
CG: HE'S GOING TO BE IN TOWN, YOU KNOW.  
TG: shit man i know im all kinds of excited  
CG: I BET YOU ARE.  
TG: oh shut up dont you have pigeons to yell at or something  
CG: NO I DON'T, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, ASSHOLE.  
TG: i was kidding asshole  
TG: anyway i gotta go see what roses plans are  
TG: catch you later shouty  
CG: BYE.  
[turntechGodhead ceased pestering carcinoGenesist at 4:16 PM]

You switch back to Rose’s tab.

TG: i aint got plans  
TG: what do you have in mind?  
TT: I thought maybe we could go out to dinner with Roxy and Dirk, maybe catch a movie, and have a few drinks?  
TG: sounds like a solid plan  
TG: btw why are you in town?  
TT: Roxy was going on and on about how much she missed me, so I took it upon myself to help.  
TT: I'm just here for the weekend, then it's back to New York.  
TG: back to your fancy apartment and fancy school  
TT: Yes, the new semester starts soon.  
TG: i know  
TG: do you want to meet at mine and dirks place or do wanna meet up at the restaurant?  
TG: and have you told dirk about this  
TT: I'm already at your apartment with Dirk and Roxy. We're waiting for you.  
TG: oh okay cool ill be there in a few  
TT: See you soon.  
[turntechGodhead ceased pestering tentacleTherapist at 4:25 PM]

You don’t have time to reply to John now, since Rose, Roxy, and Dirk are waiting. You pocket your phone and get into your car, which is thankfully significantly cooler. You shut the doors and buckle your seatbelt and head home. You hit nearly every red light on the way and don’t get there until almost five, which earns you three “about time” remarks when you walk through the door.

“Sorry, traffic was shit.” You explain. They’re just giving you a hard time and you know it but you still feel better explaining yourself. “Let me go comb my hair and piss real quick before we go.”

“Hurry up man, you’re holding everyone up.”

You roll your eyes at Dirk’s remark and hurry to the bathroom. You run a comb through your hair, check your teeth, and use the bathroom before heading out. The four of you carpool in Roxy’s car. She has a badass land rover with plenty of legroom, a necessity for your tall-as-fuck family.

 _Olive Garden_ is the only place the four of you can agree on, so that’s where you end up.You hate it, honestly, but it’s one of Rose’s favourite restaurants so you suck it up and go anyway. You have a good enough time, despite your hatred of the restaurant, and the four of you laugh a lot. You really have missed Rose, even if she’s nosey and asks too many questions about the tape around your wrist. Roxy backs you up and tells her to lay off, she does.

After you’re done eating it’s after seven so you decide to scratch the movie and get straight to the drinking. Roxy buys all the alcohol, seeing as she and Dirk are the only ones actually legally old enough to buy alcohol. She gets Rose an admittedly delicious wine. Dirk asks for Gin, when Roxy asks if he wants anything with it he says he’s got juice at home. You and Roxy decide on vodka for the two of you. You opt for coke as the accompaniment and she chooses Kool-Aid.  Roxy really likes sugary drinks, like sugary to the point of not being able to taste the alcohol, so she always gets way too drunk. She’s made a promise not to do that tonight.

You stop by the store for a few snacks after Roxy buys the drinks. After that you head home and let the real festivities begin. A true StriLonde family fun night would not be complete without drinking games, which you are awful at.

“Okay the objective,” Roxy begins as she’s lining up shot glasses with various drinks in them. “As you know, is to land a coin in each glass. We’ll each go six times, sound good? Every time you miss you have to drink the one you missed. If you land one, you get to pick somebody to drink it.”

“Sounds good.” Dirk nods. You and Rose agree silently.

“Who’s first?” Roxy asks as she finishes lining up the cups.

“Well seeing as Rose is the guest of honor,” You smirk in her direction.

She gives you a sly grin in return and stands up. “Just for that, Dave, I’m going to make you drink all six of mine.”

“We’ll see, LaLonde.” You sit back and interlock your fingers behind your head smugly. Rose flips her first coin. It lands in the cup. Fuck. “Lucky shot!”

She slides the first shot glass in your direction. “Drink up.” You down it easily enough. She goes for her second flip. Makes it. Damn. “Another?” She laughs and slides the cup towards you. It was a little harder to get down than the first and you pull a face.

“What the hell was that, Rox?” You stick out your tongue.

Roxy laughs and throws her hands up comically, “I forgot to mention, everything is mixed up, some stuff is just one drink, some stuff is mixed drinks, and some stuff is straight alcohol!”

Rose smiles to herself; you know she’s feeling smug for making the first two shots. “Ready for number three, Dave?”

You raise your eyebrows briefly and shrug. “Bring it on.”

She does. She brings it hard.

She makes _every shot._ For her “clean sweep” (as Roxy called it) she gets to pick who goes next and she picks you. You make two out of six. It’s embarrassing but all in good fun, so it doesn’t exactly bother you.

By the time the game is over and everyone has had a few turns, you’re feeling pretty buzzed, as is everyone else. Roxy declares that in order to let your poor tummies take a break, you’ll play “would you rather” next, without a drinking penalty.

“Dirk,” She starts. “Would you rather give up Lil Cal forever or own at least five cats?” Oh, that is a good one. Dirk is allergic to cats.

“Fuck. Uhhh, I guess the cats, I couldn’t give up my best friend. I'm no monster.”

“Aw yeah, I’d be over at your house every day petting them!” Roxy laughs and takes a drink. “Your turn, by the way.”

“Okay, Dave.”

“Hit me.” You brace yourself for whatever fucked up question he’s going to ask.

“Would you rather have knives for fingers or dicks for fingers?” The question gets a laugh out of Rose.

“Are you kidding, bro? Penis hands, all the way.”

“Of course you would, you weirdo.”

“Says the guy whose best friend is a puppet.”

“Touche.”

“Rose.” You choose. “Would you rather never be able to use to internet again or never be able to fly in an airplane again?” You think you came up with a good one, both of those things are things she does often.

She snorts and then grins. “Easy, I’d choose the second option because I could just fly in a helicopter instead.” Fuck.

“God dammit.” Everyone laughs. The game continues for roughly forty-five minutes after that, with the four of you asking each other the most ridiculous questions possible. You pull one over on Rose a handful of times, probably only because she’s a little bit sloshed and isn’t coming up with clever solutions as quickly as usual.

When you’re done playing “would you rather” Roxy decides the final game should be one that really gets the four of you feeling good.

“Roxanne.” She sets five glasses down on the table and fills them with everybody’s respective drinks. In the fifth one she pours a little bit of everything together. “We’re going to listen to the song Roxanne and every time it says Roxanne you have to take a drink. If you finish your cup before the song is over then you don’t have to drink the final cup. If you don’t…” She pulls a face and shakes her head. “Good luck!”

She starts the song and the race is on. You never noticed before tonight how many times the name Roxanne was actually said in this stupid song, God _damn_. You finish your cup by the end thankfully. Everyone does. And Roxy was right, after that you are feeling significantly more drunk than before. You let yourself sink into the couch and just enjoy the company of your family after the games are over. The four of you are just idly chatting and goofing off, its good fun until you feel your pocket vibrate and you remember you were supposed to text John. Whoops.

[ectoBiologist began pestering turntechGodhead at 9:45 PM]  
EB: hey, did you get my texts earlier?  
EB: sorry if you're busy, i was just making sure they actually sent.  
TG: dont worry bro i got em  
EB: oh, good!  
EB: are you busy right now??  
TG: naaah im not busty  
TG: busy  
TG: sup?  
EB: not much, really.  
EB: other than the stuff i told you earlier.  
TG: oh?  
TG: oh what did you tell me earlier  
TG: uh about the um  
EB: the job interview...  
TG: yeah! yeah the job thing  
TG: congrats bro youre gonna be a werkin man  
EB: also i'm going to be in texas next week.  
TG: really?  
TG: dude that so cool  
TG: holy shit john i live in texas  
EB: i know, dave.  
EB: i was planning on meeting you in person finally!  
TG: you were?  
EB: yeah, dude, we talked about this!  
TG: oh right yeah right sorry  
TG: where in tecas will you be?  
EB: dallas!  
TG: no way thats my twon  
EB: i know, i'm gonna visit you!  
TG: im so stoked ive been wanting to meet you irl for years  
EB: me too!!  
EB: my flight is on wednesday, so maybe we can meet on thursday or friday? or some time on the weekend?  
TG: nnno not the weekend  
TG: i cant leave the hose this next weekend  
EB: why?  
TG: my counter dude  
TG: its gonna hit 0 and im not gonna be around anyone when it does  
EB: i'm rolling my eyes so hard right now dave!!  
TG: but dw dw john  
TG: thursday or friday works for me  
TG: i can probably take off work for fridat  
TG: friday  
TG: fuck  
EB: are you okay?  
TG: oh yeah im fine  
EB: you're kind of typing... fucked up.  
TG: yeah yeh im a lil drunk rn  
EB: oh, lol.  
TG: sorry  
EB: no, it's fine! sorry i interrupted.  
TG: dude you didnt interrupted  
TG: i love talkin to you  
EB: aw.  
TG: youre like my best bro dude  
TG: i love you dude  
EB: lmao i love you too dave, but maybe you should take it easy over there.  
TG: yeah yeah i know dont worry aboutit im fine  
TG: im done drinkin  
EB: that's good! you seem kinda beyond buzzed.  
TG: i feel it  
EB: drink some water before you go to bed.  
TG: im tearin up a little  
TG: you care so much  
EB: i just don't want you to get a hangover, those are not fun.  
TG: bruh i kno  
EB: alright, well i guess i'm probably gonna go dick around online for awhile. have fun being drunk!  
TG: have fun being cute  
TG: fuck i mean  
TG: you  
TG: being you  
EB: omg, goodnight dave!  
TG: night bro ily  
EB: ily too you dork.  
EB: get some sleep soon.  
EB: i think you probably need it!  
[ectoBiologist ceased pestering turntechGodhead at 10:11 PM]

You stare at your phone for a solid few minutes before deciding that was a good conversation and you handled it well and you probably won’t even regret any of that in the morning. After you’ve had your fill of staring you stand up to go get a glass of water and get some sleep like John said. John has good ideas and even though it’s only barely past ten, it sounds like a good idea, the sleeping thing.

“Where you going?” Dirk asks when you stand.

“Water.” You reply. “Sleep.”

He nods and then laughs. “Right, night then, bro.”

“G’night.”

“Goodnight, Dave.” Roxy and Rose say in unison.

“Goodnight.” You repeat one last time before making your way out of the room and into the kitchen for a glass of water. You also eat a brownie while you’re in there, and then you go to your room, collapse on your bed without even bothering to take off your jeans, and you pass out cold. Let’s hope that water helps in the morning.


	4. Three Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright so i had half this chapter written for like two weeks but i was sooo undermotivated to make the rest of it happen and for that i am SORRY, but i finished it!! and it ended up being longer than expected haha.

“Thisth fucking sthucksth.” You plop down beside your dad on the couch and fold your arms in frustration. You’re usually very good about laughing at yourself in situations like these, but with all of the big upcoming events – getting a job, visiting Jade, meeting Dave – you are literally freaking out. “Thisth isth literally the worstht thing ever.”

Your dad tries to hide his laughter but fails (miserably). The glare you’re giving him could probably kill somebody in the right situation. “I’m sorry, John,” He says, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes. “You’ll get used to it.”

“Stho sthupportive. I can’t believe I have to wear thisth thing to the airport tomorrow.” You slump down further into the couch and sigh loudly for dramatic effect.

“Oh, chin up, son. It’s not that bad.”

“Yesth it isth, even my own dad can’t sthtop laughing at me.” You can literally feel yourself spitting a little every time you say an “s”. Its official, wearing a retainer is literally the worst thing ever. You cannot see yourself getting used to this at all.

“I’m sorry, John. I’ll stop.” He frowns, you feel kind of bad about being such a baby about it but it’s so stupid and embarrassing. “If it really bothers you so much, maybe you should only wear it while you’re at home and at night?”

You sigh again. “I wasth thinking about it. I mean, I know I’ll get usthed to it eventually, but I don’t think eventually isth sthoon enough, I’m going to be in Texasth _tomorrow_.”

“I know, son.” Your dad places a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

“And I’m going to be meeting my bestht friend of all time on Friday and I don’t have high hopesth about thisth listhping thing going away before then. Thisth sthtupid retainer isth impossthible to talk with!” You cover your face with your hands and allow yourself to sink even further down into the couch. At this point you’re actually just lying on the seat cushion with your legs bent awkwardly out and your feet flat on the floor.

“You’ll adjust, John. Remember when you first got your braces? You couldn’t talk right then either.” He reminds you, and oh God you don’t _want_ to remember that. You groan in response and he just laughs. “You’ll be fine.” He pats your knee and stands up. “Have you packed yet?” You shake your head without removing your hands from your face. “You should probably get on that soon then, son.”

“I know.” You moan. He shakes his head in amusement, laughs again, and goes into the kitchen, probably to start making dinner.

After several minutes of awkwardly laying on the couch with your face in your hands you drag yourself off of said couch and up to your room so you can pack. You started already but haven’t achieved anything other than making a mess. You sit on the floor in front of your open suitcase and stare at it dejectedly for a good three minutes before spreading your arms to the side and falling backwards with a thud.

The thud is loud enough to alert your dad and within seconds he’s calling up to you, “What was that?”

“My entire upper body hitting the floor.” You reply in monotone.

“Wh… Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Dad, don’t worry.”

“Alright, son…” You hear him linger at the bottom of the stairs for a moment before ultimately deciding everything is fine and returning to the kitchen.

You lay on the floor so long that you start to fall asleep, and you would’ve probably actually fallen asleep if it hadn’t been for your phone vibrating so loudly. With much disdain you fish your phone out of your pocket and barely peek your eyes open to see who’s pestering you.

[gardenGnostic began pestering ectoBiologist at 6:36 PM]  
GG: john!!  
GG: are you packed and ready to go?  
GG: are you EXCITED?  
GG: im excited  
GG: johhhhn  
EB: hey, jade.  
GG: john!!  
GG: are you ready?  
EB: not yet.  
GG: whaaaa why? arent you excited  
EB: yeah! i'm totally excited, just feeling a little out of it.  
GG: aw whats wrong?  
EB: i got my retainer a few hours ago.  
GG: but isnt that exciting?? o:  
EB: i mean, i guess, but i sound stupid.  
GG: oh i bet you sound FINE john  
EB: you have never been more wrong.

You hold down the microphone button on your phone and speak. “Thisth isth sthtupid. I sthound dumb asth hell. I am stho nervousth about thisth becausthe I underesthimated how bad thisth would be. There’sth thisth big invasthive piecthe of plasthtic in my mouth making it impossthible to sthay anything without sthounding like Daffy Duck!” You hit send without playing it back because you don’t even want to hear it.

[ectoBiologist sent a file: this is stupid.mp3]   
GG: oh dear......   
EB: yeah.   
EB: i'm going to see you for the first time in like two years and meet dave and i won’t even be able to talk.   
GG: oh john its not that bad ):   
GG: youll get used to it sooner than you think!   
EB: i hope so.   
GG: and if you dont you can always just take it out when you meet dave   
EB: yeah i knoooow.   
GG: so dont worry!!!   
GG: and pack your stuff already!!   
GG: your flight leaves at 8:30   
EB: i know, i know. i'm working on it.   
GG: work faster!!!!!!   
EB: okay well stop texting me then, yeesh!   
GG: <3    
EB: i'll call you before i board the plane, okay?   
GG: kay! see you tomorrow   
[ectoBiologist ceased pestering gardenGnostic at 6:59 PM]

The conversation with Jade helped improve your mood a little bit, not quite enough to make you _want_ to do what you need to, but enough to make you realize you _need_ to do it. So you sit up with a groan and start tossing clothes and other things you’ll need into your suitcase. You organize it a little, so that the really important things can be found easily, but other than that you just kind of toss everything everywhere.

When you’re done packing and deciding what you’re going to wear tomorrow (so you can leave it out and see it when you shower because if you don't lay it out you'll definitely forget) you go downstairs and grab some dinner. Your dad made meatloaf and you aren’t a huge fan but food is food.

You make a plate and sit at the table with your Dad, he’s already started eating without you. You have to take your retainer out to eat and it is sweet sweet relief. Your mouth actually feels a little weird without it since you’ve been wearing it all day, but it’s not a big deal.

“Are you packed yet?” You dad strikes up conversation. Your mouth is full so all you can offer in return is a nod. He nods in reply as well, “Good, good. Are you excited?”

You nod again and take a drink of your water. “Yeah! I’m nervous and I’m gonna sound weird probably because of this stupid thing.” You point to the offending object in the case on the table beside you. “But I’ll get over it, I guess. I have to learn to laugh at myself, right? How else am I going to become a famous comedian?”

Your dad smiles and dabs his face with his napkin before standing up. “That’s a really good way to look at it John, I’m proud of you.” He takes his plate to the sink and rinses it. “And I’m sure you’ll get used to it anyway, your tongue will adjust, maybe even before you meet Dave in person.”

You shrug in response and take another bite of your food. Your dad goes into the living room and ruffles your hair as he passes you. You finish your food in silence, rinse your plate, peek into the living room to tell your dad you’re probably going to shower and sleep soon, and then go upstairs. You take a quick shower and throw on some old clothes to sleep in, making sure to leave your chosen outfit for tomorrow out in plain sight. You want to make a good impression on Jade; you haven’t seen her in two years after all.

After your shower you crawl into bed and surf the web for a little while on your phone and decide to text Dave and see what he’s up to, since you might not get a chance tomorrow, seeing as you’ll be spending all day from like noon to night with Jade.

[ectoBiologist began pestering turntechGodhead at 10:02 PM]  
EB: by this time tommorow i'm going to be texas.  
TG: youre going to be texas  
TG: all of texas  
EB: yes.  
TG: nice  
TG: whats up  
EB: not much, i'm just about to go to sleep, thought i'd say hey.  
TG: youre checking on me  
EB: what? no?  
EB: maybe? kind of?  
TG: aw you really do care  
TG: are you laying down right now john  
EB: yes, why?  
TG: be careful  
EB: why?  
TG: youre going to drop your phone on your face  
EB: what? no i'm not!  
TG: yes you are  
EB: no, i'm not!  
TG: ok john  
TG: didnt you get your mouth thing today  
EB: yeah, it's stupid.  
TG: what do you sound like?  
EB: like john, but not very good at saying t and s.  
TG: i wanna hear  
[ectoBiologist sent a file: this is stupid.mp3]  
TG: holy shit  
EB: yeah.  
TG: you sound amazing dude  
EB: oh shut up.  
TG: im serious i love it  
EB: whatever you say, weirdo.  
TG: does it feel weird  
EB: the retainer?  
TG: yeah  
EB: yeah, i gfhhksdkl;;l/   
TG: you dropped your phone on your face didnt you  
EB: ow.  
TG: haha i fuckin told you bro  
TG: i warned you  
EB: don't meme on me, dave.  
TG: what? im not memeing on you  
EB: yes you are. sbahj is a friendship meme. you're memeing.  
TG: omg  
TG: we have a friendship meme  
EB: yep.  
TG: this is the greatest day of my lfjwsk;;lk  
EB: dave?  
TG: IT KEEPS HAPPENING  
EB: did you drop your phone on your face?  
TG: yes  
TG: you cursed me dude  
EB: sorry.  
EB: were you trying to go to bed, though?  
EB: i just realized it's after midnight there.  
TG: i was laying down but dont sweat it  
EB: aw man, i'm sorry. i'll let you go!  
TG: oh alright dude night  
EB: night!  
EB: see you friday, haha.  
[ectoBiologist ceased pestering turntechGodhead at 10:32 PM]

You fall asleep within minutes of putting your phone down, and you sleep pretty restlessly all night long until your phone alarm starts blaring at six AM and your dad starts knocking on your bedroom door minutes later to make sure you’re awake and ready to go.

You rub the sleep from your eyes, go to the bathroom, brush your teeth (which reminds you to snag one of the spare toothbrushes to take with you to Jade’s), and change into the clothes you laid out the night before. After you’re dressed you lug your suitcase down the stairs, run through everything in your head, double check you have everything, and have a quick breakfast.

Your dad drives you to the airport an hour and a half before your flight is scheduled to leave, you drop your suitcase off at baggage check and go through security. Once you’re through security you find your gate and wait. While you’re waiting you watch a few videos on your phone and check on your town in Animal Crossing. Everything is fine so you put your DS in your carryon backpack (you leave it turned on so you can Streetpass people) and call Jade, as you promised the night before.

You quickly take out your retainer while the phone rings. “Hello?”

“Finally.”

“Sorry! I was across the room, are you boarding now?” She asks excitedly.

“The plane is going to be here any time now.”

“Awesome!! I’m soooooo soooo so so so _so_ excited!!” She’s basically squealing into the microphone and you have to hold the phone a little ways from your ear.

“I know, I know, oh my God. Calm down, Jade.” You laugh. “Don’t give yourself a heart attack. Who’s going to pick me up from the airport if you die?”

“I’m sorry; I’m just excited to see you! The last time I got to see you was on your 17th birthday so I’m just really excited!! I miss you.” She sighs happily.

“I know, I know, I’m excited too.” You laugh again. “I’ll see you in like four hours!”

“Yeah! See you!” She hangs up without saying much else. You don't know if she meant to but she doesn't call back so you don't let it bug you too much.

It was a very short-lived conversation, but you didn’t exactly have much to say anyway. You just wanted to let her know you’ll be there soon, well as soon as the plane gets to you and you get on the plane. Speak of the devil; the person behind the counter at your gate makes an announcement.

“The plane has just arrived, after everyone is off we’re going to clean it and begin the boarding process.” The microphone gives off loud feedback as he finishes speaking. The wait between the announcement and boarding isn’t particularly exciting. Once you’re seated you send a quick text to Dave before switching your phone over to airplane mode. (Not giving yourself enough time to see if he replies, you don’t want to get sucked into a conversation right now.)

[ectoBiologist began pestering turntechGodhead at 8:22 AM]  
EB: i’m sitting in the plane right now waiting to take off!  
EB: in four hours i’m going to be in texas! this is really happening, holy shit! i’m going to meet you in like two days probably!!!  
EB: that’s exciting.  
[ectoBiologist ceased pestering turntechGodhead at 8:23 AM]  


You put your phone in your back pocket and promptly forget about it, opting instead to play more _Animal Crossing_. About an hour into the flight you get bored with video games and put your DS away again. You strike up light conversation with the person next to you; it dies off pretty quickly after they mention how they remember when they first got their retainer as a kid. You hadn’t even been thinking about your newly developed lisp until then, their comment told you how painfully obvious it was. You look out the window and admire the clouds for a few minutes to try and clear your head of all the negative thoughts; you really love clouds for some reason. They, unfortunately, don’t hold your interest for very long. After the short-lived cloud watching you let yourself doze off, you did have a pretty restless night last night because of all the nerves.

Before landing one of the stewardesses gently taps your shoulder to wake you and confirm that your seatbelt is buckled. You show her that it is and then glance out the window. The sudden realization that you are about 15 minutes from actually being in Texas sets in and the nerves come crashing down, not scared nerves… not really excited nerves either. Butterfly nerves? Those kinds of nerves where you don’t know what you’re feeling but you know your stomach is in knots and you’re anxious. Part of the feeling is probably induced by landing, which is really awful truth be told. You liken it to the feeling of sitting in the back seat of a car and going down a big hill, except the hill is the sky and you’re in an airplane.

The plane touches down and everyone is let off, you switch your phone out of airplane mode and you’re immediately greeted with a page of red text.

[turntechGodhead began pestering ectoBiologist at 8:30 AM]  
TG: omg what?  
TG: fuck did you shut off your phone  
TG: youre on the plane now?  
TG: goddamn this is happening  
TG: im going to meet my best friend soon  
TG: text me when you land wtf  
[turntechGodhead ceased pestering ectoBiologist at 8:32 AM]  
[turntechGodhead began pestering ectoBiologist at 10:44 AM]  
TG: so im tracking your flight  
TG: youre going to land in a little over an hour and a half  
TG: so if you dont text me at exactly 12:20 there will be fire  
TG: i will raise hell in your name egbert  
[turntechGodhead ceased pestering ectoBiologist at 10:47 AM]  
[turntechGodhead began pestering ectoBiologist at 12:19 PM]  
TG: times up kid  
TG: where you at?  
TG: john egbert calling john egbert  
TG: helllllooooooo  
TG: god dammit john i am not a patient child  
TG: where are you?  
TG: it is 12:22 and i still have not heard from you  
TG: google says you landed  
TG: you cant hide from me  


He hasn’t ceased pestering you yet so you decide to humor him and reply. Dave is so overdramatic. You roll your eyes and type out a short reply. You get sucked into a pretty quick conversation after you reply.

EB: i'm here!  
TG: oh god hey  
TG: youre in dallas?  
EB: yep, i'm at DFW airport right now.  
EB: this place is huge, it's like a whole city in one building...  
TG: i know  
TG: is your cousin picking you up  
EB: yeah i'm headed to baggage claim right now, though.  
TG: dude dont walk and text at the same time  
TG: thats mad rude  
EB: well excuse me, i had to reply to the person who was literally blowing up my phone for the last five hours!  
TG: um it was only like 4 hours nice try asshole  
TG: but alright alright i get it  
TG: ill let you go i guess  
TG: have fun with your cousin dude  
EB: i'll try, haha. bye!  
TG: peace  
[turntechGodhead ceased pestering ectoBiologist at 12:35 PM]

You can tell he’s just as nervous as you and it is extremely relieving. He’s trying to play it off as ironic concern and act cool about it but you can read him like a book, he’s only been your best friend for like ever! You pocket your phone and make your way to baggage claim, find your bag, and then go wait for Jade.

She finds you almost instantly in the huge crowd of people, it’s a bit scary actually. She pulls you into a bone crushing hug and then pulls back to get a good look at your face. Her grin is absolutely saturated with smugness. “We’re the same height now.”

You roll your eyes and scoff. “Firstht time stheeing me in how many yearsth? And you’re immediately going to make fun of my height?”

“Oh, come on!” She playfully punches your shoulder. “I was just kidding! And besides, it’s not my fault you’re tiny.”

“I am _not_ tiny, thank you!” You retort. “I am perfectly average sthized.”

“What are you? Five foot… five? Six?” She smirks.

“Sthix and three quartersth, for your information.” You fold your arms and feign a sour expression.

“Right, right, I’m sorry.” She laughs. “I grossly misjudged.”

“Yesth, you did. Now let’sth go. It’sth too crowded in here.” You don’t make eye contact with her to emphasize your attitude, she just laughs because she knows you’re kidding. She’s been giving you shit about your height since you were kids; you’re pretty used to it.

She leads you out of the airport and to her car, a green Mini Cooper, surprisingly fitting for her. “Good thing you showed up when you did,” She says while unlocking the door. “I almost had to pay for extra parking.”

“Would that have been stho bad? A sthmall pricthe to pay really, when it comesth to stheeing your favourite cousthin.”

She opens the door and presses the unlock button so you can get in too, “I don’t know if I’d call you my _favourite_.” She grins.

“Oh right, I’m sthorry. I guessth introducthing you to your boyfriend doesthn’t earn me any pointsth.” You toss your suitcase in the back and slide into the passenger seat.

“Hey, shut up.” She playfully shoves you before starting up the car. “Besides you didn’t introduce us!”

“You both commented on my sthtatusth on Facthebook and became friendsth, that stho countsth asth an introduction.”

“Whatever,” She laughs. “If you wanna be that technical it was your friend Dave who introduced us.”

“What how?”

“Well he introduced you to Karkat and then you,” She raises her hands and does air-quotes. “ _Introduced,_ me to him.”

“That isth entirely too technical.” You roll your eyes. She laughs again and starts driving.

“It counts.” She hums and taps the wheel with her thumbs.

“Yeah, _whatever._ ”

Jade started dating Karkat online about a year ago, which is why she chose to go to college in Dallas. Their timers didn't match up - Jade's wasn't scheduled to go off for another sixty years or something and Karkat's didn't even work. When he turned 18 it went haywire and then shorted out. All he got from it was a blinking set of dashes, like an alarm clock after a power surge. Since they both didn't really have anything to worry about they hooked up and hit it off pretty well, it was obvious they weren't _soulmates_ but they were good together.

After that the subject is dropped and she asks, “Have you eaten? I mean on the plane or anything?” You shrug and shake your head, she nods in reply. “Wanna get food somewhere?”

“Sthure! What do you have in mind?”

She shrugs. “I dunno, you’re the guest here, John. What do you want?”

“Literally anything, I’m sthtarving.” She nods again and then laughs. “What?” You ask.

“Nothing, nothing, just not used to the retainer talk.” She looks at you fondly for a brief second before returning her eyes to the road.

“Oh, jesthusth.” You sigh and frown. “I completely forgot.”

“Don’t worry! It’s okay, seriously. It’s cute.”

“Mhm, I’m sthure.” You roll your eyes and lean your elbow against the car door.

“No, I’m serious, and it’s not even as noticeable as it was yesterday, like your mouth must be getting used to it already. How long are you supposed to wear it?”

“Uh… all the time forever?” She raises and eyebrow at you in question. “I mean, like, at firstht I’m sthupposed to wear it day and night, literally all the time excthept for when I eat, but later – like a year from now, I can sthwitch to only wearing it at night.”

“Yikes.” She grimaces. “That’s rough buddy.”

“Yeah, but,” You shrug and let the sentence hang.

Silence falls between you for a few minutes before Jade asks again if there is anything specific you have in mind in way of food, you tell her again that you’re up for anything. The two of you ultimately decide on fast food, but you make sure to opt for fast food that you don’t have in Washington, which is a nice way to mix it up. Experiencing the Texas lifestyle one obscure fast food chain you’ve never heard of at a time.

After you eat Jade takes you back to her apartment and it’s unsurprisingly adorable. She’s already decorated it nicely and even designated a place for you to sleep. (Literally just on the couch that pulls out into a bed.) After you’re settled she asks if you want to go out and do anything but you shrug it off and instead the two of you stay in and watch movies together for hours. In fact, you watch movies for so long that you both end up passing out on the pull out bed just like when you were kids and you’d visit your grandparents. Overall the day was… well incredibly good and you’re excited to spend the next two weeks with Jade. 


	5. Two Hours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)

The tape on your wrist is in shreds, you’ve been nervously picking at it for the last two days. The shower you’re taking now doesn’t improve its current state. You try to ignore it; you’ve got more important things to worry about, like how you’re going to meet your best bro in two hours.

It still hasn’t quite processed in your brain yet, two hours. _Two hours._ Two hours and you, Dave Strider, will be face to face with your number one all-time favourite best friend in the entire world, John Egbert.

You’ve planned to meet at a Starbucks, it’s simple, hopefully quiet, and probably less awkward that having him seek out your apartment and knock on the door – and wow, God, you don’t even want to think about the level of awkward that that would be. You’re taking a shower now because John sort of sprung this on you last second. You hadn’t exactly made solid plans to meet yet but John texted you out of the blue earlier.

EB: you. me. starbucks. 3 pm.  


You were quick to agree because you aren’t busy; you took off work as promised. You’re nervous as hell though. Like more nervous than you’ve ever been in your entire life. You’ve got solid plans to meet your best friend for the first time in years and your stomach literally feels like it’s trying to eat itself.

You’re lost in deep though when you hear a pounding at the door. It nearly scares you out of your skin.

“Bro, you good? You’ve been showering for damn near an hour.” It’s Dirk.

You clear your throat and try to coolly reply. “Yeah, m’good, just trying to get extra clean.”

He laughs. “Probably not a bad idea, you wouldn’t want John to know what you really smell like.”

“Ha-ha. Very funny, what did you want?”

“I was just making sure you didn’t drown.”

“I’m taking a shower, Dirk.”

“Anything is possible.” You don’t reply and after a few seconds you can faintly hear him walking away. You’re kind of embarrassed; you hadn’t even realized you’d been showering for so long. That certainly explains why the water is significantly less hot than it was before.

You rinse your hair one last time before deciding it’s probably time to vacate the tub. You get yourself dried off and throw on a pair of boxers. You leave the bathroom and beeline for your room so you can find an outfit. The usual won’t work today, you need a proper outfit. You need to impress John with your best. Why? Well obviously because you’re madly in love with him and you want to leave your mark, but you won’t admit that. You’re going to look good but you’re still going to make it look effortless. That’s the Strider charm. Play it off like you didn’t spend thirty minutes trying to decide which pants best matched your shirt.

When you finally pick out an outfit deemed good enough you work on your hair. You don’t usually do much with it, it falls pretty well all by itself. You just have to make sure it’s falling right today; it would pretty much suck if, on the most important day of your life so far, you had bad hair.

Once you’ve tamed your hair you look over yourself in the mirror about 100 times, you feel like you’re forgetting something but… Oh yeah! You snag the shades off of your nightstand and put them on. That was a close one. You check the time on your phone after everything is done. It’s only two; you still have an hour to kill before you have to meet John. You should probably leave early though. Thirty minutes to kill. You’re kind of hungry but no, if you eat then you’ll have to brush your teeth again and you might not have time to do that so you don’t want to risk it.

You sit on the couch and allow your leg to bounce anxiously while you absent mindedly pick at the tape on your wrist. You really need to buy more tape while you’re out today. You check the time every thirty seconds and it seems like it’s passing impossibly slow. Dirk walks through the room twice but doesn’t say anything to you and for that you’re grateful. You decide to leave at 2:20 because you’re too nervous to sit on the couch and think about everything that could possibly go wrong.

Starbucks isn’t too crowded when you get there and you’re a little bit relieved. You never did well in large crowds, especially in situations where you were already under tons of pressure. You check your phone again, 2:37. You’re way early. Its fine, you tell yourself, you’ll just order a coffee and try to relax before John shows up. You can do that.

You’re sitting near a wall away from most of the other customers, you’re trying not to think about all the bad things that could happen, because honestly, what could happen? John is your best friend, there is no way he’d see you and just nope the fuck out. Trying to convince yourself of that is harder than you want to admit, though. You catch yourself scratching at your wrist again. You mentally make a note to stop and glance down.

Your stomach is suddenly in more knots than it was a second ago. You’d accidentally peeled up most of the tape around the counter and it’s… much lower… than you thought it was supposed to be.

Four minutes left.

Suddenly your head is spinning and every worry you had about John is gone, replaced with new worries surrounding how you’re going to get out of here. What’s going to happen in the parking lot? If you just lay in the backseat of your car you won’t be able to meet anyone. Fuck, you need to text John and tell him you’ll be late, at least. You don’t want to stand him up, you want to meet him. Your heart is literally about to beat out of your chest, you were not prepared for this.

[turntechGodhead started pestering ectoBiologist at 2:43 PM]  
TG: john i have to get out of here  
TG: like right now  
TG: im freaking out fuck im sorry  
TG: im not standing you up okay  
EB: woah woah, wait, what? get out of where? what's wrong?  
TG: starbucks john i have to get out of starbucks  
EB: what? why?  
TG: im running out of time  


You pocket your phone and ignore the message alerts that follow. You don’t have time to explain right now, you just have to get out of here before you get unwillingly roped into the rest of your life. You are _perfectly_ content with loving who you want and not who you don’t. The universe isn’t your boss. You are your boss… you hope. You pray.

EB: what?  
EB: dave, what are you talking about?  
EB: i'm literally about to walk in the door, just sit tight, okay?  
EB: please.  
[ectoBiologist ceased pestering turntechGodhead at 2:46 PM]

You open the front door too quickly without looking and _immediately_ collide with somebody. You’re stopped dead from the shock of impact and you look down at the offending person. Before you can even properly apologize or react you feel a sort of… tingling… like TV static. It starts in your wrist and bleeds into your fingers and then backwards up your arm and before you know what’s happening you feel tingly all over. You blink a couple times and let your jaw fall open slightly.

You were _not_ expecting this. You can’t even talk you just kind of open and close your mouth like a fish over and over. The person in front of you seems significantly less surprised. Instead he grabs your arm and turns your wrist up and puts his next to it. His skin is darker than yours. That should’ve been a given, he is half-Mexican after all, and you’ve known that for years, but for some reason you’re still surprised. You’re surprised to see that skin next to yours, that wrist next to yours reading zero at the same time.

He looks up at you after a few seconds. “Oh man, I was worried for a second that I’d miss you and it’d be somebody else.” His voice flows smoothly and it just makes the tingling in your arm stronger.

You examine his face closely and finally manage to form words. Or well, one word. “John?”

He drops your wrist and extends his arms out to both sides. “The one and only!” He doesn’t seem as surprised by this as you and you’re confused. You’re probably the most confused you’ve ever been. You stare. He laughs. “Confused?” All you can do is nod. He smiles and starts to explain. “You really are a big dummy, aren’t you? We’re soulmates, dude! I mean that should’ve been obvious already but I guess everyone needs to have their suspicions confirmed.”

“Suspicions?” You repeat.

“Yeah, well I mean…. I’ve um… I’ve kind of known we matched up for a while. I hoped, anyway.” He lowers his voice at the last part.

“You hoped?”

“Yeah! I mean, yeah. I did. You’re like my best friend. You know everything about me; I don’t think there’s anything I don’t tell you. Who better to be my soulmate than the person who I’ve literally already shared my entire heart and soul with?” He’s speaking as though this is a normal everyday thing.

It dawns on you that John might not love you like you love him. He might someday; actually he’s basically destined to someday. He might today, you don’t actually know. He could show it differently. But you, you’re showing it in the worst possible way: stunned silence.

“Dave?” He asks after… oh God, you don’t even know how long you’ve been silent. You’re processing. You’re having a hard time processing. “Are you okay? Listen, I know you were scared of your counter reaching zero but I thought if… I thought when you found out it was me… I…” The way his voice is faltering now is a dead giveaway that he’s got more than just best friend feelings towards you, too. And he thinks _you_ don’t.

Ignoring the _complete_ irony here about how you didn’t want to let fate control you and it turns out fates been stringing you along this entire time, you react how anyone in your situation might react. Okay probably not, but you’re Dave Strider and you have to everything with flare.

When you’re leaning in you take note of how much shorter than you John is. What happens next is what can definitely be described as the worst kiss in your life. Not that you’ve had a whole lot of kisses, just a few high school flings, but this is by far the worst. It’s awkward and you came in too fast and John jumped when you did it and you regret it as soon as it starts. You thank every God you’ve ever heard of that it ends quickly. 

John pulls away first with a less than shocked expression on his face. He lets out a low whistle and claps his hands together. You can literally feel your cheeks turning a million shades of red. “Wooooow, Dave, at least buy me dinner first.” He laughs awkwardly and you feel yourself relax.

“I am so sorry I just did that.” You start talking before you have time to think about what you want to say. “You kept talking about how you knew we were supposed to be soulmates and I wasn’t even paying attention all I could think about is how I’ve had a huge crush on you for years, then I started thinking about how you might not feel the same way yet – or ever, I don’t know how the soulmate thing works. Then when I tuned back in you sounded kind of sad and I panicked and oh, Lord, I am sorry.”

“Woah, woah, slow down, what?” He asks when you finally exhale after you’re done talking. “You had a crush on me?”

You open your mouth then close it again then open it again, “Well… yeah.”

He nods and smirks a little and you know he’s about to drag you. “Oh really? What was all that about how you weren’t going to be destiny’s bitch?”

You scowl and he laughs. “Shut up. I didn’t know. Unlike _some people_. Why didn’t you tell me?”

He shrugs. “I didn’t want to be wrong. My hunch was solely based on the fact that I had a huge crush on you and you’re my best friend but we’d never technically met. I didn’t know _when_ or _if_ we would. I kind of realized for sure last week when I found out your timer was about to go off and I was going to be in Texas. When you said it was supposed to hit zero on the weekend I hoped you were wrong and I was right.”

“And you still didn’t tell me!”

“I didn’t want to be wrong! It could’ve actually been Saturday and I could’ve been too hopeful!” The two of you are raising your voices a little bit too much. Not in anger, mostly just confusion and frustration. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter, we’re soulmates, can I get some coffee now?”

You sigh through your nose and roll your eyes. “We’re talking about this later.”

“Yeah yeah, I’ve got some more explaining to do, I know. Right now I just want to drink coffee and enjoy being in the presence of my best friend for the first time ever.” He walks past you and opens the door. He holds it for you and says “m’lady” when you walk past, you want to punch him.

The two of you settle into the table you’d been sitting at before, your iced coffee is still sitting on it and you’re thankful. You ran out in such a panic earlier that you left it behind. John talks a lot. You watch him talk and sip at your coffee. You can’t stop thinking about how he knew and this entire time he liked you back. If only you’d been brave enough to tell him how you felt sooner.

He gets a phone call not long after the two of you sit down and it’s the first time you’ve actually ever _heard_ him speak Spanish. He’s typed it before and it never made any sense but now… actually hearing it… Hearing him speak in general, out loud, not on the phone or through an audio message… It was starting to sink in, John is your soulmate and you are okay with that. You are more than okay with that. You have never been this okay in your entire life. He has to pull you back from fondly-staring more than once. You don’t mind. You don’t think he minds either.

The two of you stay at the table in that Starbucks for literal hours. It’s dark before you realize how long you’d been talking. In person. Talking in person, that’s what you were doing. Sure, you’d spent hours texting before but this was different. You could hear every inflection and every intake of breath and every sincerity in his voice.

“So tomorrow?” He confirms. You nod. “I’ll text you if I need help finding your apartment.”

“Yeah, good plan.” You agree. He hugs you, awkwardly at first but the awkward feeling quickly melts into a more genuine feeling. He waves you off as you part ways in the parking lot. You return the gesture and get into your car. You lean your head back on the seat and slump down with a sigh. Not a sad sigh or a frustrated sigh, no, this was a sigh of pure unaltered happiness. You were so worried about meeting John and meeting your soulmate but now nothing could feel more perfect.

Before driving away you pull out your phone and text Rose. She’s going to say she told you so, but you don’t care. You need to tell somebody. She’ll want to know.

[turntechGodhead began pestering tentacleTherapist at 9:03 PM]  
TG: i met my soulmate today  
TT: Oh?  
TG: yeah hes cute  
TT: He?  
TG: yeah  
TT: Are you going to elaborate?  
TG: it was john  
TT: The one you like?  
TG: the same  
TG: weird right?  
TT: Weird indeed.  
TG: i freaked myself out for nothing you were right  
TG: ive spent the last few days stressing about john and my countdown but now im just  
TG: im happy  
TT: I'm glad, Dave.  
TG: i just thought youd like to chalk this up in your book of being right  
TT: I will do just that.  
TG: good talk rose  
TT: You're leaving?  
TG: yeah i have to drive  
TT: Text me tomorrow.  
TG: sure thing  
[turntechGodhead ceased pestering tentacleTherapist at 9:12 PM]

You toss your phone into the passenger seat and take off; the drive is short and hazy. You didn’t even turn on the radio. You’re too busy thinking about other things. When you get home you sit in the parking lot for a good five minutes before finding the will to walk, you just want to stand still. Dirk isn’t around when you get in, so you sit on the couch and turn on the TV for background noise. You don’t pay much attention to it, though. You’re not sure when you fall asleep but you do on the couch in front of the television with only one thing on your mind: John Egbert.


End file.
